Anxiety: My Mind’s Playing Tricks On Me
I am not an anxious person. At least, that is how I attempt to appear with others.
Having control is one of the most essential components we look to enforce within our lives. My way of doing so is making my actions seem effortless, and demonstrating little emotional reactivity. When news first spread about the severity of this pandemic, I attempted to rationalize to stop from making the issue a “big deal”.
As more information was shared, there was ample consideration to be made regarding provisions, safety, security, and most importantly, health - the health of students I work with, colleagues, my loved ones, and of course, my own.
That jumpstarted my anxiety in the best/worst way possible.
When I become anxious, my neurotic side comes out - I will overthink every single physical sensation, occurrence, action, and gesture possible. For as logical as I am, it can be overwhelming to face a lack of control in circumstances that become more confusing concerning as time progresses.
There’s solace in that uncertainty, though, in letting go of the things you cannot control and taking ownership of that which you can.
If you are like me and have worries about what we’re going through (I call that part of me Neville, hello to the Harry Potter fans), let it have its space to live – it’s real, it’s genuine, and it’s not going anywhere. Acknowledge and embrace it for what it is: a part of you that is scared and needs affirmation that things will be okay.
No one knows how long this pandemic will last. You can use this time to get certain affairs in order: check-in on your goal list for life, make time to contact friends and family to share and listen, attend to errands, exercise, read, take breaks, sleep and do it over again.
You can choose to take an extended break; set a time limit, let yourself have those worry thoughts, cry if you need to, or max out on streaming music, movies, and/or videos. Once that time is up, take inventory and ask yourself: “What’s something I can do that demonstrates control in my life?”
From something as small as brushing your teeth, to something big as volunteering to assist first responders, the more present you become with your feelings, the better off you become.
